Do you remember the time that we always locked our eyes? the times we actually dreamed of becoming each other's wife and husband? I felt it too. I want you to know that ever since that day, in the film.. I always had my eyes locked up on you, I really wanted to be with you and that point came.

It was the start of my brand new life, living with you, fulfilling everything that I had ever wanted to do, and the sweet things that we actually dreamt of. It was fun, everything was pure and with lots of love. I felt something that I had never felt before, something I had never felt in every other person that I had been intimate with.. and it's the feeling of having someone as my comfort zone and peace.

There were times that we actually had so many things to do, but we still chose to talk towards eachother on our phones at night, and at worse times, it reaches midnight pa :)) Talking to you feels so peaceful, even though It's a lot of away, I still wanted to choose you more & more, every single day.

I wanted to treat you with comfort, purity and care. I did... right?! There were times that I was doing a lot of terrible things, I curse, I say a lot of disrespecting terms, pero you were there to stop me. you were there to actually lesson me and it never gets old in my memory. you remind me of my mother, someone who always shouts, someone who always cares, loud and walang preno yung bunganga but full of love.

I guess its time, that I want to tell you the truth. I did love everything, I found peace that I had been seeking for long, pero I am not ready to face it all. I want to pursue my dreams, I want to pursue something I never had as a little boy. I want to be the best of me, alone. Call me selfish, pero I imagined this ever since it was 2024. I want to be rich, I want to help my family, I want to be who I am by myself.

There are a lot of unsaid thoughts inside my head, I had numb myself for so long. I had always silenced myself, even though there were things that I was not okay with, I just kept saying yes and yes and yes, and its all okay... because I was never hard-hearted...

There were times na may ginawa ka during the first months of us, andami kong nalaman and I disregarded myself. I numbed myself to the point na I don't really know and care about my life anymore, and it's what broke the flame of pursing na maging mayaman ako. It was something that had stopped me to pursue every single bit of my dreams, and I'm glad that it was coming back lately.

I know love, I was never honest.. I never told you the things na nasasaktan ako gabi-gabi. I was too scared to speak up, dahil alam kong masasaktan kalang din. The more na tumatagal, mas lalong lumalala. I know you wanted to stay, pero what about me? someone that hadn't ever forget everything that I've learned. It makes me cry right now saying this, It was filled with trials and errors ever since, pero I chose to stay.. Pero this is the longest time na kaya kong magstay, nasasaktan padin ako don gabi-gabi. I wanted to leave, ever since nung nalaman ko yung mga yon, pero I never did... because I was scared of you crying, I was scared of you begging.

Which is why, I focused on helping you. I disregarded myself, I focused on making you love yourself. I helped you love yourself and it had came this far...

We had come this far, we had loved each other... I told you to love yourself and you did, please. Let me do it for myself, for the sake of me. Everything we did this far, it was all for you. You will realize later on how much you've changed mentally. You will realize that you're still standing is because of us. I wanted you to grow while you're with me.. It's also your turn to grow now, without me.

You learned how to respect yourself, and it's the biggest gift I could ever give to you. It was the best thing I could ever gift someone, and you received it. There will be times na hindi mo kakayanin, pero alam kong kaya mo. Believe in yourself, love yourself. I left you things para temporarily mo akong matandaan, I left you some perfumes that you hate, I left you some handkerchiefs na kailanman ay hindi ko iniwan sa iba. Those things, it was meant to teach you to love something that you always hated.

I want you to keep up, pursue your dreams and love yourself more. Keep pursuing yourself, I had invested almost half of myself sayo, so please wag mong sasayangin yan. I led you to a career na Kahit mahirap, it was worth it. the income, it was everything I planned, para sayo. and this is the best thing i can ever give para sa'yo ly.

It will be a long journey for the two of us. Pursue your nurse, and ill pursue this business of mine. I want to keep the fire of pursing my dreams to keep up. I want to help my family, I want to help you. Pero I never wanted you nor someone to stay by my side, I don't want you to be a part of my struggles, nor shall anyone else.

I know na kaya ko, at ayaw ko nang mandamay. Ayoko nang magpa-asa sa dreams ko, dahil at the end pag hindi ko yon natupad, I'll just be a disappointment and it's something that I don't want anyone else to feel. We've had a lot of fights noh? :( I guess, it is the end of us for now, but the future will decide. once i get rich, I will contact you. I will treat you, I will invite you to Disneyland and explore the world just like how we imagined our life will be.

Please, always be strong. always be happy, and always pray to god. Do not pursue INC anymore :)) It'll just make your life heavier, it will be too hard to carry. I know you will also encounter a lot of problems, magiging mentally unstabled ka at masasaktan ka. I will always be proud of you, no matter what happens, I am... Everything that led you here, na maging matatag, masipag at matyaga sa pag-aaral.. This was all my plan, even though gabi-gabi akong nasasaktan, even though napakakulit kong tignan.. No one knows what was going on inside my heart. It was to let you taste the love of trying to pursue something na makapagpapayaman sayo, it was something that you needed to feel, and i let you taste it, para sayo :))

I know that you would hate me after this, I know you would have a hate inside your heart, pero once we meet again. I will say my sorry, I will try to get your heart and pursue you again. It will be the right time to continue this, once we've already fulfilled something we ever longed for.

Right now, every future in our heads is only a drawing, and we need to keep going para matupad ang lahat ng iyon, huwag maglalaslas, huwag magpapakamatay okay? :)) I'll hate you more if you do, and I'll make sure na wala nang babalik sayo kapag nakarinig ako ng ganon.